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October 18, 2006
Sniffing Our Way Through the Ballot Bouquet
Don’t abstain. You have choices, some better smelling than others
If you’re sick and tired of the two frontrunners for the United States Senate race in Tennessee, but at the same time are at least moderately interested in the rest of the ballot, you seriously need to get out more — after you read this election guide. And while you’re out, go vote.
Tennessee Governor
Mark Albertini scowls at a half-empty jug of burgundy every time he reads it, but Republican primary winner “Big” Jim Bryson is on the board with some small numbers indeed. Gov. Phil Bredesen will easily win re-election, and will immediately hoist a pre-exploratory ad hoc windsock into the as-yet-fresh P2008 air.
The theme for minor candidates this year is nicknames. Carl Whitaker gets to keep his (as did Walt Ward in the primary) but David Gatchell’s was ruled out. Go figure. I’ve decided that they all deserve nicknames, and have volunteered them where missing. So, if you can’t stomach either of the two major-party gubes, choose from among the following: the Green Party’s Howard “Papa Bear” Switzer, or independents George “Don’t Look Now” Banks, David “None of the Above” Gatchell, Marivuana “My Baloney Has A First Name” Stout Leinoff, Charles E. “Agent” Smith, and Carl “Twofeathers” Whitaker. Superb cast this year.
Constitution Question 1
Maybe you’ve seen those “Vote NO on 1” signs in people’s yards, and have wondered what “1” is, besides the loneliest number. Or maybe you’re in touch with your theocratic side, and have heard from former state Senator David Fowler on the matter. I teeter on the referendum tightrope precisely because the process so often ends up confusing the voters, and because special interests take over what should be a purely democratic exercise. This one is no different. People on both sides will mistakenly vote opposite their intentions, in part because the condensed versions they hear are confusing, and in part because they can’t read. But these votes might all wash in the outcome. The confusion doesn’t end there, though: many do not realize that Tennessee law already prohibits same-sex marriage, and would be less inclined to piddle with the Constitution if they were simply aware of current law — and the press, in at least half of the stories I’ve read, merely muddies the waters more instead of clearing up things. Here on this page it’s really simple: want to keep government out of the bedroom and the church? Want to avoid an embarrassing and costly undo in the future of what really amounts to engraved discrimination against certain biological types of adults? Vote NO on 1.
Constitution Question 2
There aren’t many signs or brochures for or against Question 2, because people hardly know it’s there. To make matters worse, the state Election Commission (state, not Bud Knowles and crew) omitted two paragraphs of it when they programmed the ballots. What is it? Here’s another point of confusion. People are talking about the amendment that will freeze property taxes for senior citizens. It will do no such thing; but, if passed, it would enable the state legislature to pass laws that in turn enable local governments to enact such freezes. See, there are filters on this stuff. It’s a likelihood that the General Assembly would pass such a measure, and soon; but each city, county and town will have different successes and failures with something like this. However, it seems reasonable to afford each that opportunity, especially for the sake of helping fixed-income seniors, so I encourage a YES vote on 2.
United States Senate
There are five candidates for the U.S. Senate that you don’t see eight times during every episode of Jeopardy!™. The second tier comprises Green Party nominee Chris Lugo and pro-war but anti-NAFTA independent Emory “Bo” Heyward. Each has articulated a position far afield of the two centrist standard-bearers, Corker and Ford (and, you admit, that’s not hard to do). Maybe one of them shares your frustrations with the two-party system. The other three candidates are Ed Choate, David Gatchell (who, as noted above, is also running for Governor), and Gary Keplinger. There are no excuses for sitting out the election. Vote for somebody, even if he’s a nobody.
United States House of Representatives
Brent Benedict is the latest Democratic casualty notching Congressman Zach Wamp’s belt. No shocking story there. This race peaked early with Benedict’s surprising close win over Terry Stulce. The projected backlash against Wamp for extending beyond his term-limit pledge has failed to materialize.
Tennessee Senate
Odd-numbered districts are up this year, and all too many of them have a singularly odd number of candidates. Hamilton County’s own District 11 is among those, as outgoing state House of Representatives member Bo Watson (R-31) is being given a walk into the upper house.
Tennessee House of Representatives
There are plenty of House districts lacking even a nominal challenger as well. These include District 26 (Gerald McCormick), District 29 (JoAnne Favors), and District 30 (Vince Dean). District 27 has the only real race happening, and even that is far from interesting. Republican Richard Floyd appears poised to succeed former Rep. Chris Clem, though Democrat Bill Lusk will fare respectably. The GOP has really rallied behind their nominee in the 31st, Jim Cobb of Dayton; as befits Rhea County, the “liberal” in this race is pastor J. Glenn Moseley, whose website calls him “a candidate in the footsteps of William Jennings Bryan...”
What about the 28th? you ask. It’s a little bizarre to quite figure out, but Rep. Tommie Brown is running against her godson, who describes his opponent as a mentor. All that aside, it looks like the second Isaac “Ike” Robinson III campaign is more organized and deliberate than the first, while Dr. Brown’s is lackluster. Does this foretell a retirement in the near future, complete with a well-groomed shoo-in for the open seat?
Cities and Towns
Let’s not forget the local races, though there’s not pulp enough here to cover them all in detail. East Ridge, Red Bank, Signal Mountain, Soddy-Daisy and Lakesite are all electing municipal officers, while Soddy-Daisy and Collegedale have an alcohol-sales referendum. That always gets everybody hot under the collar. Speaking of which, Signal Mountain’s election also features a recall initiative aimed at several members of the Town Council. Over ethics lapses? Sex scandals? Nope. Zoning.
Voters in the City of Chattanooga have the longest-reading ballots in the area. Three ordinances to amend the city charter will appear, so be prepared. It’s much easier to make an honest choice having read up on these amendments than it is to stare fitfully at them while in the voting “booth” (meaning, styrofoam separator on a folding table). Here are the boiled-down versions: the first takes city board member replacement out of the hands of said board and places it under the mayor’s control, but keeps City Council signoff; the second unties appointing a city engineer from the mayoral election cycle; and the third prohibits federal and state officeholders from simultaneously holding public office in Chattanooga. Yes on the last two; but the time it will take to weigh the first one and come up with a position is one reason I don’t vote early.
There you have it, folks. Constitution and charter changes demand your attention, even if you despise politicians. Plus, responsibly filling elected positions is your duty and right, so hold your nose and vote in every race. If it will help, I’ll hand out clothespins at the polling place.
[This column appears in the October 18, 2006 Pulse.]
Elections , Pulsations | By joe lance | 01:34 PM