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September 20, 2005
Absurdist Local Government
Wait until Councilman Leamon Pierce finds out! The Chattanooga City Council's Legal and Legislative Committee has recommended a measure that would outlaw "chickens and roosters" in the City -- oh, except that "chickens and roosters" can still be kept by owners of at least five acres. Rich man's "game" indeed — did I just hear Councilman Benson make a pun?
"Chickens and roosters." If I had time, I would do up a whole Guest/McKean/Shearer routine, something about "now which one's the hen?" and so on. Do we also have laws about "vehicles and motorcycles," or "buildings and houses"? (UPDATE: The wife reminded me that there was a memorable bit on Seinfeld where the Costanzas were having dinner with Susan's parents for the first time, and the whole "chicken/hen/rooster" topic was discussed. (I do sort of remember it, because Jerry Stiller made me laugh when asking about which was having sex with what.) She then went on to label me "Chattanooga's Andy Rooney" for taking issue with the Council's terminology.)
We'll have to see whether or not Councilman Pierce will keep his promise to the chickens he loves so much, and refuse to vote "against" them.
Next subject. Curtis Adams has found his nerve again, and tells Dr. Register not to let the door hit him on his way out. Blustery talk after someone says he's leaving is downright cowardly. But we already had our suspicions about Curtis Adams in that department. I wonder how much of his vitriol against Register has been based in pure diploma envy? Inferiority complexes can make for brash talk (I should know), but this after-the-fact puffing is too hilarious for words. Except, um, I just wrote some.
Finally, we have the "playful inter-office innuendoes get ugly" story from the CPD. It's nice to know that the ones protecting and serving are so mature. It's also nice to see Councilwoman Marti Rutherford blissfully floating downstream with the tired sexist line that "it's all her fault." No. Dude has twenty years on the force. If some rookie (male or female, for that matter) makes a pass or says something untoward, the professional thing to do is to put a stop to it right there and then, and to show by example how to behave in the workplace.
Andy, your days are numbered, my old friend. I can't wait to meet that Ed Bradley.
Government | By joe lance | 07:02 PM