Why Not Get a Hotel Elevator Job?

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July 20, 2005

Why Not Get a Hotel Elevator Job?

The wife and I have an ongoing debate over whether hotels (and other buildings with elevators) used to feature monkeys that were dressed up in little suits and rode along with the elevators' operators.

I say that she's thinking of the organ-grinders, and their little dancing monkeys, that were once fairly common on (especially European) nineteenth-century streets. (Excellent pickpockets made they, as I recall reading.)

She claims that I am simply ignorant of "elevator monkeys" OR that I am merely acting on my congenital impulse to argue an opposite point, no matter what. (She longs for the day that I get the fence built in the back yard, so that I will have my proverbial fencepost and leave her out of it.)

Maybe one of you can help resolve our friendly little conflict and put this matter to rest.

I started this post after reading about a Clarksville man and his monkey who were recently banned from doing business in a local mall.

I'm not a member of PETA, but I do think that animals (including human ones) ought to be treated ethically. I was struck more by part of the monkey's prior history than by the events in this saga:

She also said Ricky could hurt someone — even though Metchis said the monkey's teeth were removed by a previous owner[...]

The who-what were removed by the what-now? Yeesh. See, there's your problem with exotic animal "ownership" right there. It's all fine until someone gets his teeth forcibly extracted for no natural reason. What does the poor toothless monkey eat? (Don't say "bananas.") I'd be one cranky monkey if I couldn't bite into a [insert juicy, crunchy jungle vegetable here].

So, in spite of the post title, I'm not really advocating the "return" of the almost certainly mythical elevator monkey; I think this Metchis fellow ought to just enjoy his friendship with Ricky without trying to use the beast to make a buck.

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